Everyday Mommy

Brother and I are two different people

2012-01-27T15:35:00.001-05:00

I appreciate the guest post, Lindsay Valdez

My brother is the worst person when it comes to saving money. For him, money actually does burn a hole in his pocket. I don’t think he has ever saved a penny in his life. He spends what he has on what he wants and never gives it a second thought. He recently bought a house and pays the minimum on the mortgage. I tried to explain to him the importance of putting as much towards the mortgage as he could. He then ordered satellite and I asked if he qualified for the direct TV Rebate. He acted like I was speaking another language. We are two completely different people. I try to save where I can and receive money back wherever I can. My brother pays the number on the sheet of paper and never gives it a second thought. I know I shouldn’t concern myself with my brother’s personal business, but I want the best for him. I want him to have a successful life and someday be debt free. However, I think I should start just making sure he is always happy. Happiness might be an easier accomplishment for him than saving.

Home Beautiful!

2011-03-08T12:19:00.000-05:00

Guest post written by Theresa Hammond

Living in a fairly exotic location has been very great for my husband Mark and me. Not only is it great for my husband Mark and I, but it seems like we are seeing more or our old friends and relatives than ever. Living in location likeHawaii seems to give everyone a little more incentive to go out the way to visit. Since we moved, I have really missed everyone and it's nice to have visitors every now and then. As a matter of fact, for the next few months we are expecting a handful or friends and family members. During the weekends, we are starting to get a few things to prepare for everyone's visits.

The other day we heard about the Kihei sears kitchen remodel offer and decided to go ahead with it. We want to do everything we can so that our friends and relatives will have a nice impression of our place when they come see our beautiful state. It's not easy to get the house looking as beautiful as the rest of the sites in Hawaii, but we are working on making it a very striking place.

Football!

2010-10-12T13:47:00.003-04:00

This past weekend we had the pleasure of hosting a get together for friends and family to watch football. Yay!

We had a nice spread of chips and salsa, a deli tray, fruits and veggies, and plenty of Chex Party Mix! There were three different kinds-Traditional, Turtle, and Honey Nut. Traditional flavor Chex is always a hit. The Turtle and Honey Nut were new to everyone. Turtle was very popular among the kids. You can't beat chocolate and caramel! The Honey Nut was well like all around.

I had pictures to share, but Haden got hold of the camera last night and somehow deleted everything on the card. :(

Be sure to heck out The Ultimate Chex Mix Game Day Sweeps! For a chance to win $10,000 in cash and prizes to make your place the ultimate Game Day spot, visit the Game Day Sweeps tab on the Chex Mix Facebook page to enter!

Schedule

2010-06-15T07:31:00.001-04:00

Ugh! I still do not have a good schedule for the days. It is throwing everything off. I need order! I need organization! I need...a nap!

Terror

2010-06-10T14:10:00.002-04:00

My son is terrified of the vacuum cleaner. He screams to almost complete hysterics whenever I use it. He will stop crying if I hold him while I vacuum though. Imagine that for a moment if you will--vacuuming while holding about a 28 lb. kid on your hip. It is not that easy. Of course I also have hard to reach places that I have to use the hand tools for--thus I have to set him down. This does not go well AT all. He FREAKS out! I don't know what to do to help him get over this fear. I have tried letting him touch it while it is off and on. I think it is the noise that scares him the most because he doesn't cry until I turn it on. The thing is, I have to vacuum more now since we are home more. The dog and cat are also shedding like crazy because it is really starting to get hot here. I wish he was still small enough to fit in the Baby Bjorn comfortably...

Personality

2010-06-08T16:01:00.002-04:00

My son is nearing a year old and recently his personality has really started to show itself. He tends to have a bit of a temper (something he gets from his father...and perhaps a hint from me). Today, he has been "yelling" in his baby babble about random things. Today it was at the dog anytime she would get too close to me or when she laid on her dog bed. My son has claimed the dog bed as HIS and will "yell" at her and swat to try to make her move. My dog just ignores him or takes the opportunity to get a good lick or two in. It is really quite cute.

One week in

2010-06-08T13:51:00.001-04:00

I have been officially a SAHM for a little over a week now. Do I feel like I have the hang of it yet? Not at all. I haven't been able to get into a good schedule because my son was sick with his first stomach virus and we ended up having to take him to the ER.

He is finally getting better and I was able to get a little bit of cleaning done around the house today. Lysol wipes are my new favorite thing! I have been able to get so much clean with those handy little things alone. The mountain of laundry is finally starting to look more like a hill. I really don't feel like I am accomplishing as much as I thought I would though.

Staying home with kids is hard work. I always knew it would be, but I had no idea how little I would be able to get done-especially when they are sick.

Laid Off

2010-05-25T13:38:00.002-04:00

Yep, that's right.

I got laid off yesterday. My last day is Friday. And then? I dunno. Well other than unemployment.

Maybe if I can't find a job right away and find that we CAN survive on my husband's pay alone, then I will cancel unemployment and be an official SAHM. I want that more than anything else. Maybe this is the universe's way of giving me the opportunity of trying it out...with the cushion of unemployment benefits if I can't quite make it on our own.

Sad

2010-05-19T12:53:00.002-04:00

I have been MIA because I am going through a very deep sadness...I hesitate to call it full out depression but I suppose it could be.

It all started on Mother's Day. My daughter had her 1st ballet recital and I was looking forward to it so much. She was absolutely amazing and my husband and I are both so proud of her. Later that night though, the sadness crept in. Her first year of ballet is OVER. Her Pre-K class is almost OVER. My baby girl has grown up so much in the past year that it just is killing me inside. She needs me a little less and less each day as she gains more independence and I hate that. I never knew my kids growing up would make me so sad.

So ever since Mother's Day, I have been extra weepy and random moments of the day. Then last week, I got in trouble at work for something not totally in my control. My supervisor hasn't sat down and had an official talk yet (other than snapping at me in the hallway in front of other people). I am afraid this will be the end of my job...and the not knowing is making me anxious which just fuels my weepiness more. I think I can handle it if I am let go, I just need to know. In a way, I would almost welcome it. But I know that I HAVE to work because our family depends on income from both my husband and I. Hell, my husband works two jobs already. We need the money. But deep down, a part of me would love to be able to cut corners and trim our expenses to be able to stay home with my son and be more involved in my daughter's school.

Either way, they are both growing up and I feel like it is flying and I don't want to miss a moment of it. And I can't help but feel sad.

Mommy Guilt

2010-05-04T10:15:00.003-04:00

My DD is still sick. She seemed better by last night, but then she channeled a firehouse and got sick all over the bathroom. Yuck.

Since I stayed home yesterday, my husband stayed home with her today. We often do that whenever the other one has something on a deadline or important going on at work.

Still though, I feel extremely guilty anytime I leave for work when he is home with her sick. Perhaps it stems from my abandonment issues with my own mother. I mean, I know my daughter is in good hands and my husband is more than capable of taking care of her. But I still have this nagging feeling that I am being a bad mother by coming to work while she is home.

Unexpected Three Day Weekend

2010-05-03T13:25:00.002-04:00

It is raining buckets today, and the first thing I thought when the alarm went off this morning was how I wanted to stay in bed.

My wish came true! But not the way I would have wanted it to. DD woke up with a little tummy trouble so I opted to keep her home from Pre-K. Not knowing how the day would continue on and if the tummy trouble would get worse. She feels fine other than the one little "issue", so that is a good thing. DS is practicing his crawling and exploring the house and getting into everything he shouldn't.

With the weather as nasty as it is, I don't mind being home from work with my little squirts today. Pun totally intended. ;)

It's Saturday. Yay.

2010-05-01T16:54:00.002-04:00

I am working on Part 2 about my mother. Writing Part 1 was very therapeutic for me. I left a lot of things out. Things that happened before she left us. Things I confronted her about in my early 20's. She denied any wrong doing. But I digress...

Today I signed DD up for a ballet class in the fall. She took one this past year at the daycare her Pre-K is at. The class she is taking in the fall is at an actual performing arts center. I am looking forward to it. I think it will be a very good experience for her. While we were there registering her this morning, there was one really annoying mom who talked loud and seemed to do everything in her power to draw attention to herself. She had three daughters. One looked to be about the same age as my daughter. Is it horrible that I am wishing that her kids are not in the same class as mine? I would hate to see her on a weekly basis. She is just that annoying. Or maybe nuttier than squirrel poo.

I'm also trying to come up with cute or witty nicknames for my kids on here. I really want to keep it anonymous for now. If you have any suggestions, please pass them on! I am coming up blank.

My 10 month old DS is going through some sort of stage right now where he is extra clingy and doing everything in his power to resist falling asleep. He cried off and on for almost two hours last night. I am not a big fan of CIO, but I will let him fuss if I know all of his needs have been met and my attempts to soothe him don't work. I'd hoped he would sleep longer since it took him so long to fall out, but noooooo. He was up at 5:37 am. DH was not amused. Mommy is very tired today.

What is a Mother? Part 1

2010-04-30T10:45:00.004-04:00

My mother and I have a very volatile relationship. On my 12th birthday, she left us. My dad was abusive towards her and she couldn't take it anymore and left. I came home from school and she was gone. My sister had been with my grandmother for the day so I guess it gave my mom the perfect opportunity to leave.

We didn't hear from her for several weeks. Then she started calling when my dad was at work. I was angry. I did not want to speak to her. She basically abandoned my sister and I. I could not and still do not understand how a mother could abandon her children. Why did she not worry that my dad would be abusive towards us? How could she possibly feel safe leaving us with him if he was abusive? If I were in the same situation, I would never leave my children behind. Never.

A few years went by and we were in and out of court for the divorce and custody hearings. My mom was granted visitation with us every other weekend. I refused to go. I wanted nothing to do with her. My mom would not let my sister if I did not go. So I guess you could say the guilt trips started very early on. I was made to feel like it was MY fault that my sister did not get to see my mom. One Christmas I absolutely refused to go with my mom. She tried to talk me into coming by telling me all of the presents she bought me--I still refused. So what did she do? She took back everything she bought for me AND my sister. So my sister did not get any presents that year because of me. Again, all MY fault.

My dad eventually got into a relationship with another woman and had another child. I started having some problems with the other woman and it sort of spurred a little bit of a relationship with my mother and I. I started to visit her occasionally. I would talk on the phone to her sometimes. We had a lot of arguments during my teens, and she always put it on me. She was my mother and I had no right to speak to her angrily or be angry about anything with her in general.

With my mom, there were always strings and materialism. She would always go overboard on gifts to try to make up (in my opinion) for what she could not provide emotionally. And then, if we did not get along, she would always try to make me feel guilty by pointing out the things she bought for me.

When I was 15, my mom got remarried. I never met the man until after they were already married. He was 20 (almost 12 years younger than her). Yep, that's right. A mere 5 years older than me. At first, it was very awkward. But, in a weird way, he is probably what bridged the gap between my mother and I. For a while anyway...

(to be continued)

Sometimes I Envy My Husband

2010-04-29T09:11:00.003-04:00

My husband gets up to go to work at 4:30 in the morning. Well, as long as he doesn't hit the snooze button a zillion times. BUT, he showers in peace, eats his breakfast in the silence of the early morning, and walks out the door all alone and on time.

Me on the other hand? Wake up late because 10 month old DS woke up in the middle of the night and I am a zombie, have 5 year old DD and DS in the bathroom while I shower, DD argues with me about the outfit I pick out for her to wear to Pre-K, DS cries while I get him dressed (the little monkey LOVES to be naked), DS continues to cry while I finish getting myself ready (usually leaving the house with still wet hair in a ponytail), DD argues about getting her hair brushed and put up, then DS cries in the car all the way to daycare...presumably because he is tired from waking up so early and expending his energy on crying over having to wear clothes. Oh, and did I mention 4 out of 5 days a week we are running late?

When I am really stressed by the mornings I can't help but think how much easier my husband has it. Oh well...

2010-04-26T16:04:00.000-04:00

Isn't it funny how once you have children your priorities change?

I married my high school sweetheart at 22. We wanted a family, but we had big dreams of success. At 22, success to me was a big house, a nice car, money in the bank, nice clothes, etc. And at 22, the husband and I were not very good with money. We paid most of our bills on time, but never could get those credit cards bills down. After our daughter arrived, we decided we HAD to get out of debt.

We have spent the last 4 years or so paying off our credit cards. We probably have about a year and a half left. We live in an apartment, drive economy cars, and don't have much money in the bank.

Almost 10 years later, I don't care that we are not where we wanted to be financially. What we do have is love. We have two wonderful and healthy children who are well taken care of. And really...that is ALL that really matters. I don't need anything else.